Is It Peanut Butter Jelly Time Yet?

gilinskytbh:

baesicdallas:

So there’s this place in New South Wales called Yass and there is a mcdonalds there and well…..

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"my ass"

open 24 hours
polyglotinprogress:

okay so I picked up this book and my first thought was 
why would I Polish my German that would be counter-productive I want to German my German 

polyglotinprogress:

okay so I picked up this book and my first thought was 

why would I Polish my German that would be counter-productive I want to German my German 

ruinedchildhood:

where is the lie

ruinedchildhood:

where is the lie

bombing:

bombing:

i hired four bodybuilders to crash my funeral, drag my corpse out of the casket and whip it around like a wet towel for two hours. please keep this between us my family cannot find out about this

who told them. which one of you fuckers was it. i’ll find you

reuniclus:

IT KEEPS HAPPENING

reuniclus:

IT KEEPS HAPPENING

jadehariey:

sukoshibot:

jadehariey:

jadehariey:

What’s the tallest buildings in your city?

THE LIBRARY BECAUSE IT HAS THE MOST STORIES 

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I can’t believe I’m being punder arrest.

shutupvevo:

on the one hand it’s a joke but on the other hand where is the lie

ooh-bite-me:

when your mom walks up behind you while you’re blogging

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Today at work, we found a teeny tiny gecko in our store. One of the guys picked it up and put it outside and then this fucking asshole kid goes right up to the gecko and stomps on him! Also about a week ago another baby gecko got into one of our pizza boxes and fell into a burning hot pizza and died in the molten cheese lava